flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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