i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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