Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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