Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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