Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
