I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
