You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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