I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
The adults are the big ones right?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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