you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
