I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Randomize
