Duck Duck Cougar?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
