I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I am spending my child support on dildos
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
