You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Holy shit dude........stairs
You did what with his pubic hair?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize