Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
