Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
