if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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