Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
