wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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