Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
