I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
third nipple confirmed
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
