YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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