Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
