he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
