Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
