Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
