Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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