I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
What a dumb baby whore.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Still dying that you shit outside
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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