We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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