We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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