walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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