You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize