so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
