Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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