I think I died a long time ago.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
