Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
