But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
she looked like the before picture.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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