Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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