Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
