Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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