why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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