The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
