She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
