they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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