i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
