Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
