is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
