i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
