Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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