I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
