erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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