just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
