I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
