where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
