I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
My vagina just clenched in fear
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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