i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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