I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
