You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
