In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
