I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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