I think I just saw someone hide a body.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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