Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
