dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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