At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
