You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
