Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Randomize
