I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize