we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize