i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
