why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
